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You have an amazing evening, filled with easy conversation and laughter. You close the restaurant, end with a goodnight kiss, and a promise to do this again soon. In fact, you do a little more than that, but hold a little bit back. He says good night and tells you he’ll call the next day. As a result of this wishful thinking, Sandy was as hurt by this man’s simple email as she would have been if they’d been dating and broken up. She could have that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and lose sleep over how she’s going to replace him. As a result, Sandy wasn’t “losing” anything; she never had anything to lose. It’s not that Sandy was wrong to look at all the available signs and conclude that she had special connection with a special guy.He texts you the next day to say he had fun, and instantly makes plans for the following Friday evening. He checks in during the week – a call here, an email there – not too needy, not too distant. I shared in Sandy’s pain, then informed her that she could respond in 1 of 2 ways: 1) She could be devastated that Mr. 2) She could realize that she’d never even MET this man. Anyone in her right mind would draw the same conclusion.You want to know why your heart gets broken each time a new guy disappears?It’s not because you’re a fool for believing that good men exist. He seemed so great, so perfect, so kind, so consistent. If this story feels familiar to you, it’s because it’s familiar to EVERYONE.I’ve had women tell me to chastise men to start following through more, to stop being so nice if they’re not ready for a relationship, to promise to call after having sex.I hear you, and I agree that men could stand to do hundreds of things better to improve your relationships.
You’re not really mourning the loss of a guy you never had.Because a man can be really interested in you, sleep with you, act like a future boyfriend for a few weeks, and be doing the EXACT SAME THING with another woman simultaneously.Or he could seem like a great guy, make a great effort for you, and then realize, when it’s time to commit, that he’s just not ready for a commitment.It’s such an honor to witness and support you in attaining your romantic vision, and making it a reality. My Gratitude FREE […] Read More The Relationship ‘White Glove’ Test ~ Complimentary Podcast Are men taking you seriously, or just biding their time, (and just wasting YOURS?) And you can get all of my insider dating secrets, right here.
However, as you know, I can no more stop men from being men than I can stop the earth from turning.